As you can probably tell from all of my past blog posts, I am not a writer and don't pretend to be one. So, I will not spend a lot of time writing about our recent loss, but felt the need to share a bit as this has been a very big part of our family.
Words cannot express how tough the past month has been for our family. To go from happy and healthy pregnancy (20 weeks in) to losing your baby without any notice was unexpected to say the least. We had just confirmed (since I had known all along) that our second baby was a boy. Although we were only half way in, being the planner that I am, I had made lots of plans. From bedding to closet reorganization to future sibling relationships, our sweet boy's future was planned in my mind. However, on June 24th, we found out that God had a different plan for our baby. He had decided to call him home to Heaven. Through this whole process, we have felt a complete confidence that he is now perfect and happy in Our Father's house, but have been heartbroken that we are missing out on a life with him here. It is such a weird feeling to feel complete peace and sadness about the same situation. I have told many people that I am just sad through this all.
We have been so blessed to have such amazing family and friends to walk through this journey with us. They truly have been the hands and feet of Christ as they ministered to us. From flowers to meals to babysitting to errands to lawncare to encouragement gifts to dogsitting to monetary gifts to prayers (and I'm sure I am missing something), they have met as many tangible needs as they could. We are so thankful for the Lord surrounding us with such a supportive community!
Our family clings to the hope that the Lord has great things in store for us and cannot wait to see the blessings he has for us in His perfect plan and timing. Until then, we will rest in His peace, but miss our sweet son, Beckett, and long for the day we meet again.
I wanted to share something that Toby wrote while we are in the hospital waiting to deliver Beckett. It truly captures our journey.
Beckett Lincoln Schulte ~ Into Our Father's Arms 6.24.11
I wish I would have talked to you more
I wish I would have rubbed mama's belly more
I wish I could have seen you grow
I wish I could have seen you run into mama's arms
I hope you heard laughter
I hope you heard our praises to God
I hope you felt loved
I hope you feel Love
If only your little eyes could have seen this big world
If only our eyes could have seen your little life
I will never scoop you up after a scraped knee
I will never stop you from arguing with your brother
But you are where knees aren't scraped
and you two will make up for lost time in a place without time
I will never teach you how to throw a curve
I will never teach you to win and lose with honor
But you are in His house where winning and losing is not a game or a contest, but an already decided victory over wrong
Your mama will miss out on giggles, hand holding, and snuggles
She will not wipe your tears, nose, or face
But she will cherish every second she carried you
Around the block, up a mountain, chasing Camden, always with her
My heart is broken
My chest pains from crying
My head hurts dreaming of what could have been
My soul knows you are with family and friends past
So blessed to have you
So sad to part from you
So thrilled for the day we meet again
I hope you feel our love
I know you feel His Love
Words cannot express how tough the past month has been for our family. To go from happy and healthy pregnancy (20 weeks in) to losing your baby without any notice was unexpected to say the least. We had just confirmed (since I had known all along) that our second baby was a boy. Although we were only half way in, being the planner that I am, I had made lots of plans. From bedding to closet reorganization to future sibling relationships, our sweet boy's future was planned in my mind. However, on June 24th, we found out that God had a different plan for our baby. He had decided to call him home to Heaven. Through this whole process, we have felt a complete confidence that he is now perfect and happy in Our Father's house, but have been heartbroken that we are missing out on a life with him here. It is such a weird feeling to feel complete peace and sadness about the same situation. I have told many people that I am just sad through this all.
We have been so blessed to have such amazing family and friends to walk through this journey with us. They truly have been the hands and feet of Christ as they ministered to us. From flowers to meals to babysitting to errands to lawncare to encouragement gifts to dogsitting to monetary gifts to prayers (and I'm sure I am missing something), they have met as many tangible needs as they could. We are so thankful for the Lord surrounding us with such a supportive community!
Our family clings to the hope that the Lord has great things in store for us and cannot wait to see the blessings he has for us in His perfect plan and timing. Until then, we will rest in His peace, but miss our sweet son, Beckett, and long for the day we meet again.
I wanted to share something that Toby wrote while we are in the hospital waiting to deliver Beckett. It truly captures our journey.
Beckett Lincoln Schulte ~ Into Our Father's Arms 6.24.11
I wish I would have talked to you more
I wish I would have rubbed mama's belly more
I wish I could have seen you grow
I wish I could have seen you run into mama's arms
I hope you heard laughter
I hope you heard our praises to God
I hope you felt loved
I hope you feel Love
If only your little eyes could have seen this big world
If only our eyes could have seen your little life
I will never scoop you up after a scraped knee
I will never stop you from arguing with your brother
But you are where knees aren't scraped
and you two will make up for lost time in a place without time
I will never teach you how to throw a curve
I will never teach you to win and lose with honor
But you are in His house where winning and losing is not a game or a contest, but an already decided victory over wrong
Your mama will miss out on giggles, hand holding, and snuggles
She will not wipe your tears, nose, or face
But she will cherish every second she carried you
Around the block, up a mountain, chasing Camden, always with her
My heart is broken
My chest pains from crying
My head hurts dreaming of what could have been
My soul knows you are with family and friends past
So blessed to have you
So sad to part from you
So thrilled for the day we meet again
I hope you feel our love
I know you feel His Love
Family picture on a hike (which we got lost on) ~ Mama pregnant with Beckett @ 17 weeks
Cam was quite the trooper in the backpack carrier!
Hiking with 
Aunt Marla, Uncle 
There was so much snow at one point they had to carry their bikes over! Crazy!
Aunt Marla and Uncle 
Mama and Beckett enjoying the snow!
We made it! On top of Mt. Royal!
Camden got a few more sweets on this trip than he normally does. :) Ice cream with Mimi! 
Little guy in a big chair
First taste of chocolate pudding...he loved it! 
And we certainly couldn't leave out the beautiful couple...congratulations Brandon & Jessi!
The best-looking usher!
Cousin Joshua and Camden taking a wagon ride at the rehearsal. Cam had a blast with all his cousins!
Daddy hanging out at the rehearsal...here's a test...which one is Daddy?!?!
LOVE this precious boy! 
Another haircut
